Procrastination, Meditation.

Procrastination… The word itself is such a long difficult, complicated word… A long, complicated word, consisting of small, innocent-looking words, just like the action it describes, small, innocent-looking actions, putting off an undesired task until it grows big enough to swallow us whole.

After trying out the vegan life-style for a little over a week, I have decided to not cut out meat completely, but to think about where it comes from, and eat less of it. That being said, I have done a lot of procrastination lately, and now the final I’m about to take has grown big and scary, and I have to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world.

Yes, I have a big exam tomorrow, the subject doesn’t matter, but the fact is that it’s a subject I thought I’d need, but now know that I won’t need, and the only reason why I’m finishing it is because I’ll need the points to get some of my loan turned into a scholarship. The thing is though, that I’m trying to remind myself that even if I screw this up, even if they won’t let me start next year, I’ll survive. It won’t be the end of the world, I’ll just have to get a job, working at a supermarket or something for a year, then get back into the game in order to get the degree I want, and the job I am hoping for.

Making mistakes is part of what makes us human, is it not? That is what being young is all about, making mistakes, screwing up, falling flat on your face, and getting back up on your feet, one experience wiser. There’s no point trying to be like the oak, forever strong and still in the storm, because in the end, the corn and grain is stronger during a storm because they have the ability to rise themselves up again.

To quote Mark Twain: There are no mistakes in life, there are only lessons to be learned. (Advice to the youth).

When I get my panic attacks, and all that’s going through my brain is a rant about how my life is over, I’m going to fail, what am I going to do, and quite a few ‘I’m doomed, I’m doomed, I’m doomed!’  I try to take a few deep breaths, enter a meditative, calm state, and preferably make myself a cup of tea. (a cup of tea is my answer to everything, different blends for different situations)
-What I want to know is; what do you do to calm yourself and remind yourself that your life isn’t over and that everything is going to be okay? What’s your secret weapon?
Another thing I do is to take out my pendulum. I don’t necessary have to ask it a question, but to see the citrine rock starting to swing in a perfect circle over my palm, despite the fact that I’m steadying my arm, and it was hanging completely still when I begun, it gives me hope. It reminds me that I’m not alone, that I’m a witch, and that there’s a Goddess who loves me and guides me. So, I didn’t pass my exam, mayhaps that was a sign to let me know that I was on the wrong path? The fact that something is stirring my pendulum lets me know that someone is watching me and caring for me, someone wants to guide me and help me reach my potential. So what if I make a few crash landings while learning to fly, it’s just going to make me stronger, wiser and more experienced.


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