Good morning, and blessings to you all.
I haven’t been writing for a long time now, every time I’ve sat down, something has come up, and the idea has slipped my mind. Only now that I’m here do I realize how much I have missed it, and how much I need this. Every time I go too long without writing something creative, I get depressed, like there’s a heavy blockage that I need to lift in order to get my life together again.
The past two weeks, I’ve been staying at my parents’. For the first time in years, the entire family, consisting of my parents, me and my three younger sisters. It’s been a tense two weeks, and it makes me wonder, what is it about a place or a situation that can send your spirit back in time, and make you feel like you’re seventeen and insecure again?
A smell, a taste, a couple of words, a person, or just the feel of a place, and suddenly, you’re not a young woman of twenty two any more, but an insecure young girl of seventeen. As I was at home, I could almost hear my younger self and my sister yelling at each other, and the memories alone can still hurt me. The thing is though, that while I have always been very sensitive, my sister is the opposite of me, and so, even though I’m three years older than her, she’s always been able to hurt me more than I could hurt her. It’s a sad story, that about our relationship, but I still hope that if she is just granted a little more time to mature, we’ll be able to sort things out. Yes, I’ve been waiting for that for close to six years now, but I love her, so I’ll keep waiting.
The other day, I was talking to my grandmother, the one person in the family who share some of my interest for alternative paths. It was in her little house that I first got to see a Tarot deck, and her strength has always inspired me. She is strong, she survived thirty years in an abusive marriage to protect her four children, and to give them at least one stable parent, she managed to get away, and to rebuild herself, despite the fact that she had been stripped off all confidence since she was eighteen years old. I’m so proud of her, and of the fact that she feels like she can talk to me about these things, and that talking to me about it eases some of the burden she’s had to carry for all this time.
What we started talking about was religion, I told her that I was not a Christian, and after a little while, I came out and told her that I was a witch. We didn’t say much more about the subject then, but an hour later, she told me that I had to stop with the “witch-business”. It hurt me a little for about a second before I realized that she didn’t understand what it meant to be a witch. I have never had to explain it before, and I really struggled to explain the difference between a witch and what the church has lead people to believe. I must have dome a decent job however, because she looked relieved when I told her that there was no Devil-worship and no sacrifice of animals. My poor grandmother, while she is very open to the alternative, I forgot that she was raised by very strict, Christian parents.
Though I managed to calm her, however, I don’t think I explained exactly what a witch is. I’ve never had to explain it before, I’ve just known. There’s the Wiccan rede, of course; “an’ ye harm none, do what ye will. What ye send forth comes back to thee, so ever mind the law of three.” There is more to it, but that is some of the essence, and it’s too long to post it here without scaring you away.
For me, female strength and power is a great part of being a witch. To be proud of who you are, to accept that sometimes times things change, and to trust in the Goddess. If a door is slammed shut in your face, then you were not meant to walk through it in the first place.
To honour the Moon, the nature, and the seasons in addition to my love of these is also one of the things I feel makes me a witch. I don’t always do a ritual, but I take time to admire the moon, the change of the seasons, and nature itself, and I feel the power in it, and the connection to the Goddess when I do so.
Healing is also an important part of being a witch. I believe that we are here to help the people around us. I’m not saying that we should heal everyone, and not every witch has the same gifts, but the desire to help, our love for all living creatures, and to not harbour hatred or bitterness in our hearts is a part of being a witch. I can honestly say, that though I may not know you, I wish you only the best. Compassion, empathy and the ability to reflect upon ourselves and others is to me one of the things that makes a witch.