Living through the holidays.

I have to start by confessing that I have not yet read much of The Casual Vacancy, though I promised in my last post that I would. I will read it sometime this year, I just have to find the motivation to do so, since it’s really not the type of literature I usually read.

I went home for the holidays, which was something I really needed. When I got home, it had been almost 4,5 months since I last saw any of them. I think they noticed how much I had missed them pretty fast, since I spent all my time at home, helping out rather than trying to come up with excuses not to help out as I usually do. The truth it, since I only have 10 square meters to keep clean and tidy (and I mostly fail miserably at that) up here, it didn’t bother me that I was practically met at the door with a long list of things that needed to be done before Christmas.

I really needed to be home, surrounded by people who care about me, because the past months have been really hard on me, and I still haven’t found my place up here. All I really do is study, work, and watch series on my computer, and I really really really miss having my friends around to relax and do social stuff with.

More than that, I have missed to have people there who care about me, and who will ask me how I’m doing or invite me over to see a film to cheer me up when I’m going through a dark phase. I don’t have that here. Being home was great, though it didn’t meet all of my expectations; I was home 16 days, but no one really asked me how I was doing. I guess I really needed to talk to somebody about my depression since it has been getting so much worse since I moved up here to study, but I never really got an opening to do so. But how do you go about it when someone in your family is depressed? I don’t even know myself. Still, I wouldn’t exchange my weeks at home for anything in the world. We cleaned, we baked, I got deliciously home cooked meals, and I got to spend time with my loved ones. I have these two little cousins, they’re just two years old and I was afraid they would have forgotten about me, but they recognized me right away. I can tell you right now, that there is no better cure for sadness than the hug of a small child.

I also managed by a miracle to find room for more books in my suitcase, so I brought more books with me to fill my already overstuffed room, so maybe it will start to feel more like my room now.

So, what did you guys do during the holidays? Did you get to see someone you had missed? Did you, like me, spend it at home with your family, or did you go out partying with your friends like my sisters? The oldest of my little sisters (almost 20) managed to get herself into a drinking contest, and had to spend the entire next day in bed with a bucket. Hopefully that was a lesson well learned and she won’t repeat it.


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