Growing Pains.

Take me to Neverland…

I’m subscribing to WordPress.com’s Daily Prompt, and they recently asked;
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

My first instinct is to stomp my foot and yell “NEVER!” because I have this fear of growing up. It’s so darn complicated! I’m 23 years old, and I have to handle everything on my own. If I don’t pay my bills, there will be consequences. There is so much paperwork and deadlines to keep track on, it’s making me dizzy. Work, vacations, paychecks that you have to make sure are right, term papers, applications and forms. If I don’t apply for something, I won’t get it. No second chances, and no one to remind me of it.

Not to mention the constant pressure of finding a life partner, getting married and have kids. Why does everyone have to get married? Perhaps if the right guy magically landed in my lap (without breaking my legs, depending on how far he had to drop) I would consider it, but otherwise I don’t particularly feel like having to explain my every decision to someone and taking someone else’s opinion into my every consideration I make.

You are also supposed to reproduce. When I see a baby, I go soft, I mean who wouldn’t? They are so soft, and they smell good! I adore my little cousins above anything, and I love spoiling them rotten, so yes, I usually want kids. But then I enter a supermarket, and I see children on the floor, screaming because they aren’t getting that bar of candy, or that toy, or they’re throwing stuff on the floor just because you said no, and I’m thinking “No way in hell am I getting one of those!”
Or worse, children who are being a pain, and the parent’s aren’t even reacting. Children climbing on the shelves or throwing things around, and the parents don’t seem to even notice. I tried to tell two girls that I couldn’t get to the groceries I’d just bought because they were climbing on the ledge, and they just looked at me like I was crazy, parents not reacting at all. Or once I was at a restaurant, and since they had just cleaned the floors they were slippery. A boy decided to slide on the floor (the parents sitting a couple of tables away), but since it could be dangerous a young waitress told the 6 yearold it was not allowed. He ignored her, and it made me so mad that the parents did nothing, so I repeated it to him in a strict voice. He actually told me to shut up! I swear I was just sitting there with my mouth open. Sadly, you’re not supposed to yell at or discipline other people’s children…

Sadly though I don’t want to, I think I am growing up. I really felt grown up the first time I made soup from scratch rather than using a can or a “just ad water” mix. And according to this list I found of “22 Signs You’re Kind Of, Sort Of Becoming A Grown Up”, I’m becoming very grown up.

  • It takes about 5 minutes from I walk through the front door until I’m dressed in something comfortable.
  • I want to shake my sister who is still in High School and yell “enjoy it while you can!!!”
  • I eat what I want, but then I get guilty precisely because there is no one to yell at me.
  • I had to sign my own insurance a few years ago. It made me want to hide under my parents’ bed.
  • I still feel an urge to run to the toy section in stores though, so I’m not that grown up yet.
  • I’m hanging my posters on the inside of my closet door… No kidding… I feel like people look at me weird if I hand them where they can see them.
  • I regularly run out of food and I really appreciate it whenever I’m at my parents’ where there are stocked cabinets. I’ve been living on coffee and apples for over a day because I forgot to stock up before the weekend. I miss how things just magically appeared when I was living at home.
  • Old friends getting engaged or having kids (according to facebook) kinda makes me panic…
  • I really miss spending tax-refunds on fun stuff, rather than food and bills…
  • I kinda miss having a bedtime. At least that was a good excuse to go to bed early. Now a days, I’m not even capable to sleep past 8am, even when I can.
  • I silently curse the other students I’m living with at least once a week for waking me up or keeping me awake with their loud music and parties.
  • It makes me whine like a kid, but I do understand that there are obligations, responsibilities, inconveniences and so many other aspects that suck about being an adult… Often the freedom makes it worth it, though more often then not I miss the days of having someone else shouldering those responsibilities…

I guess, though I’ve been forced to shoulder the responsibilities of a grown up, I’m still very reluctant about it. I’m a child on the inside. I mean, perhaps if I could be a unicorn, a fairy or a Harry Potter-witch, but those are the only exceptions. Where is Peter Pan when you need him?

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