What is a grandparent? According to the online free dictionary a grandparent is “A parent of one’s mother or father; a grandmother or grandfather.” But is it really that easy?
My maternal grandmother died when I was four years old, she was an only child and her father died long before I was born. My great grandmother lived for us. She was the one to care for me when I was sick, to read to me, sing to me and tell me stories while my parents were busy working. She was everything a grandparent should be.
My paternal grandfather was never a grandparent however. He and my grandmother are divorced, it was not a happy marriage for my grandmother, and he has spent the past 15 years drinking and smoking like a chimney. He never asks how I’m doing, never calls me, and I can’t remember him ever paying any attention to me, so I gave up on him years ago.
He had a heart attack two days ago and is now in a coma. He can’t breathe on his own, and we don’t know if he’ll ever wake up… Logically I know that it is his fault that we don’t have a relationship, but I gave up on him and now I might never get to talk to him. We had all just given up on having a relationship with him because he never made any effort and never did anything that didn’t benefit himself. He is not a good person, but he is still my grandfather, and I feel so guilty for giving up on him and leaving him alone… He’s still my grandfather and I wish I knew him. I wish he would get better and stop both drinking and smoking, and that he’ll understand that you have to give something back every once in awhile. I wish he would be my grandfather…